He's Back! Dr. Nick gets all analytico-reducto with "Lost"'s 'The Package.'

Look at the package on that guy...

By Nick Gorini

Hello there. Many apologies for not posting last week in regards to the epic ‘Ab Aeterno’, which according to internet chatter, has already become one of the most beloved Lost episodes all time.
 
I did have my reasons for not posting: Spring Break, travel, willfully ignoring things like television, email, phones, and the like. But I must confess: I’m still trying to figure out the Alpert episode! I’ve watched it twice, and I fear I may be over-analyzing myself into a perplexed, Doc Jensen-like Rubicon.
 
So much has been written about the damn thing, that in order to just fill-up that gaping hole in my heart, I will just post a few vexing thoughts about it before I move on to talking about Kwon’s Package…
 
In regards to ‘Ab Aeterno’:

1.   As we expected, it is tragedy that drove Alpert to the island. It’s what has driven all of our major characters. But the man who purchased Alpert as a ship’s slave was working for a man named Hanso. The Hanso family eventually went on to create the Dharma Initiative. Does this mean that the Hanso’s have always been knowledgeable about the island and it’s powers? Was Alpert purchased specifically for that intent?

2.   Alpert’s back-story? Powerful, tragic, and engrossing. I’m also intrigued and trying to understand why he wasn’t offered absolution from the priest in prison. Penance takes time, he was told, and he didn’t have that. Was this an example of a cruel priest perhaps symbolizing the cruelty of the power players on the island? Was it that Alpert didn’t seem so sincere in his guilt, much like Eko was? Or did the priest know where Alpert was ultimately headed? I don’t know…

3.   Some people think Alpert was talking to his wife’s ghost, while others think even the sincere moments were held with Smokey as an apparition. Why did she wait until Alpert called out to Smokey to show up? When the scene cut to Smokey in the distance, why did he look unsurprised at the moment? I don’t know…

4.   Richard the prisoner was really into Luke 4:1-27. But what is the purpose? Alpert wasn’t on a 40-day fast in the desert, and he doesn’t seem to have a demon inside him needing to be cast out. So, folks, why is this passage important?

5.   Smokey? Exactly as I expected him to be. Jacob? That threw me for a loop. Seeing him beat the living daylights out of Alpert shocked me – this isn’t the way we’ve been watching him behave before (or since, if we’re talking linearly timeline on the show). And the fact that it’s ALPERT’S suggestion to become consigliore instead of the other way around? Also odd. This Jacob doubts. This Jacob uses physical force. This Jacob doesn’t seem to operate with the bigger picture in mind. And this Jacob gloats. All of these things… I’m still trying to figure out what it means.

6.   And on that note: “Bring back my wife!” Can’t do that. “Give me absolution!” Can’t do that, either. “Give me immortality!” Oh! Yeah, I can do THAT! Folks, what does this mean? I don’t know…

7.   [Imagined scene from the writer’s room]: Well crap, we still gotta explain the damn slave ship and that freaking four-toed statue! HEY! I know – let’s just crash ‘em into each other! Yeah! HA HA! It’s like we’re telling the audience to stop asking about this stupid crap and focus on the characters, or something!

8.   Lastly, I give myself the delayed Stupid Award from last week, because I didn’t post anything, and because I still can’t figure this freakin’ episode out…
 
ENOUGH! Onto The Package…just hit the jump....
 
WHAT WILL SOON NOT BE CALLED A SIDEWAYS TIMELINE BY ANYONE OR ANYTHING WATCHING THE SHOW
 
Rather than give a blow-by-blow account, let’s just touch on the highlights, shall we?
 
Our ‘other’ Jin and Sun don’t speak English (my bad – when we last saw them at the airport, I was convinced Sun wasn’t speaking English because she WANTED Jin to get busted). Also, while Jin works for Mr. Paik, he’s not married to Sun. They are kicking boots, however. In not so secret.
 
Odd that Sun seems so much more self-assured, and openly self-indulgent, in this timeline. And this Jin is still a bit of an ass, but not as mean as Jin originally was before the island redeemed him. Also odd that this time around, running away from Mean Old Man Paik was news to him. And, odd that Sun got her moment of reflection in a mirror (like Jack, Locke, Ben, Kate, etc.) but I didn’t notice Jin getting one, unless I missed something.
 
Sun’s Dad (like nearly all dads on this show) is still a Big-time jerk – in fact, he’s such a jerk that he has Jin personally deliver the $25,000 smackers to pay (the awesome villain) Keamy to kill him! As mean as it is to have someone killed, this is even meaner. Wow.
 
And Omar’s there again, too. No wait! It’s Patchy! Awesome. I missed the old, died-4-5-times-before-he-really-died-Patchy. Well, he died again (along with Keamy and Omar) but not before he got to speak Korean, and not before he got his eye shot out (“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!”).

What other awesomeness did we get in this timeline? Oh man, I loved that cruel, conflicted speech Keamy gave a clueless Jin in the walk-in cooler. When Jin mistakenly thanked Keamy for his “kindness”, Keamy seemed sad and excited about what he was about to do. Almost like he was playing some sort of evil role that he wasn’t entirely buying into. It was great.
 
Hat tip to Doc Jensen at EW this week, for explaining a most-awesome juxtaposition: While Keamy is messing with Jin’s mind in the enclosed walk-in cooler in one timeline, Jin’s tied up in Dharma psychological torture Room 23 in the other. Doc reminds us that the last time we saw Room 23 was when Karl was being tortured in it – tortured by Ben for dating his daughter Alex! So, Paik = Ben, Jin = Karl, and Sun = Alex. Jensen also reminds us – who killed Karl and Alex? Keamy and Omar!! WHOA!!!!!
 
Well, we already know what happens next. We also see Sayid reluctantly hand Jin a box cutter to free himself. Gee, thanks for saving me, I guess.. Honestly, for a second, I thought Sayid was going to shoot Jin. This new Soul-less Sayid creeps me out, man. Thankfully he takes off.
 
Before this side of events ends, we have to have a tragic cliffhanger, one that will force the involvement of yet another character (like say, a surgeon). So, sadly, we see a pregnant Sun getting shot in the stomach, with Jin frantically carrying her to the hospital.
 
For what it’s worth, I have to say that I always liked the Jin/Sun storyline. The love story seems genuine, the passion real, and the growth and redemption well earned. While I don’t consider myself THAT much of a softie, I’ll be a little pissed if these two don’t get to live happily ever after in some capacity.
 
WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR STILL ON THE ISLAND BUT NOT FOR LONG FOLK:
 
Some great stuff happened on this side of the storyline, too. Opening with some night goggle vision was intriguing, for sure. Smokey’s cryptic statements to Sayid’s lack of feeling (“That may be for the best”) and to Claire’s remaining streaks of bloodlust and jealousy (when it comes to killing Kate – once she’s gathered all the other candidates I can have killed, “Whatever happens, happens.” ß A former quote from Faraday, which I know is only going to feed fodder for Doc Jensen’s crazy-ass ‘Faraday is Smokey’ theory) were great examples of Smokey’s power plays.
 
Smokey’s like a bartender who serves drinks on the house. ‘Here, have a shot of bitterness – it’s on me. Can I pour you a pint of self-doubt and insecurity? No charge. How’s about a tall glass of rage and vengeance? Let’s call it a sampler.’
 
After Smokey leaves to go seduce Sun, Jin starts packing his bags, but not before everyone gets tranquilized by some of the smallest and yet most potent darts ever. Jin is kidnapped and taken to Widmore (more on that in a bit). We also get to hear Smokey’s plan of using Kate to draw in the remaining team (i.e. the good guys). So, just because you’re not a candidate, doesn’t mean you can’t contribute, okay, Krazy Klaire?!
 
We also get the line that had me laughing out loud more than any other line ever (yes, I know Mr. Carlin mentioned it, but it’s too priceless to pass it up). When Sawyer sneers at Smokey about not smoke-flying across the water and needing to use a boat instead, Smokey says he can’t, and if he could, do you think he’d still be here?
 
“Of course not. ‘Cause that’d be ridiculous.” Oh man, Josh Holloway NAILED that line.
 
We also get a brief meeting between our baddies when Smokey and Widmore talk on the beach, separated by anti-smokey pylons (someone better tell Widmore that he needs to get some of that freaking ash, too). So, the stage is set in camp Smokey! Soul-less Scout Sayid has snuck behind enemy lines, Krazy Klaire is back to being Lizzie Borden, and the rest of the troops, Kate and Sawyer in particular, are getting a little restless.
 
Meanwhile, at Happy Jack camp, we see Alpert and Hurley coming back with renewed vigor and a plan to stop Smokey from leaving the island. But Sun just wants find her husband and get the off this damn thing. After storming off to her garden (which at times on this show has represented independence, community, nurturing, and even temptation) only to be met by Smokey the snake/snake oil salesman. As frustrated as she is (what with potentially being the savior of mankind and all), she refuses Smokey’s dubious offer (which ironically, I think was sincere. I think Smokey really was going to take her back to her husband, but with some obvious caveats, like eventual death and stuff) and runs off.
 
Bonk! She bonks her head, in the same place ‘Sideways’ Jin bonks his. When Ben the new nurturer of the group finds her and helps her back to the group (wait! Remember when Charlie bonked Sun on the head, in the garden, in the first season to help Sawyer get all the guns?), we find out that Sun (UUGGGHHHH) no hablo Ingles. Aye Caramba!
 
NOTE: Time for the Stupid Award! Okay, so by far, BY FAR, it was going to go to the writers for the stupid use of aphasia (Sun losing her ability to speak English). One of the dumbest plot contrivances regularly used in television today. But a funny thing happened on the way to the forum: I kept on getting distracted by the stupid nuclear countdown to the next episode of the mediocre ‘V’. It’s distraction came to a head when it began blocking some of the subtitles on ‘Lost’. As Sawyer would say: Son of a Bitch! So, for using ‘Lost’ as a whore for a ho-hum remake of a too-fondly remembered relic of the 80’s, ABC wins this week’s Stupid Award!
 
Anyhow, Second best line of the night is Ilana telling Ben that she basically figures Ben lies only when he’s speaking.
 
We end with the new (old) wise, sensitive Jack handing Sun a stubborn tomato from the garden. What does it represent? I think it’s a fertility symbol, and I think it’s telling us that Ji Yeon will be safe, in some way. Either that, or that the love in Sun and Jin remains fertile. Some such thing – I guess I just wanted to use the word fertile. It did remind me that through the years, Jack and Sun have had some good scenes together. So, good on them that their friendship is back on. Now, about this promise to reunite her and Jin…
 
At wimpy, wan camp Widmore, we watch Jin go through the ringer. First in Room 23, then getting tazed by Zoe, who’s waving around some maps of electromagnetic island hot spots that apparently Jin made in the 70’s (you know the 70’s were a crazy time. Some folks were swingers, some did a lot of blow, and some were makin’ maps of electromagnetic energy. I mean, that’s how crazy it was then, man).
 
Heartbreaking scene of the night is when Jin meets with Widmore, and Widmore shows Jin pictures of his child, who he’s never seen before. If that didn’t choke you up, just a little, in light of everything this guy has gone through… Okay, okay, I’m a bit of softie.
 
So Widmore tells Jin the stakes are high, and that Smokey cannot get off the island. He tells a sympathetic tale about his daughter and grandchild that mean the world to him, but follows up dragging his drugged and kidnapped son-in-law up from the submarine to show him off.  I’m sure Jin can relate to receiving this type of treatment from In-Laws…
 
So, “The Package” is Desmond (surprising no one), who makes eye contact with Sneaky Sayid at the docks (I don’t think these guys have seen each other since Penny’s boat after the Oceanic 6 got off the island). So I ended this episode not being able to decide who I pitied more – Jin or Desmond. I have a feeling that things will turn out okay for one of them, but the other is going to have make an awful big sacrifice…
 
 
SOME VERY IMPORTANT STUFF TO KEEP IN MIND FOR NEXT WEEK
 
· Producer Damon Lindelof, I’m learning, is quite mouthy with his Twitter account. His cryptic statement this week? “In one week, the conversation is going to change.” What does this mean? Well, Desmond episodes usually serve as ‘reshuffling’ of our deck of expectations, and rock our little world.

· Which Desmond does Widmore have? That is, if there are two. There may not be.
· So the first cryptic word was “Cork”, as a metaphor for the island. One more four-letter cryptic word to come (something along the lines of “Hope” or “Love”, I imagine).

· Notice how many phrases from past episodes are getting used again and again? They’re even referencing episodes from THIS season! Earlier this year, we heard Smokey say, “I’m not a what. I’m a who.” Widmore used a similar line to describe Desmond.
· Just a side-note, by the way. Just when Ilana FINALLY starts becoming interesting, they stop showing her, and showing annoying Zoe instead. Once this great show is over, some of the writers do need to get some remedial lessons on writing for female characters. Remember when Sun was awesome, for like 4 years? For the past twenty-some-odd episodes, we just watch her look at everything with her enormous eyes and gaping mouth. And then when they finally had an incredibly complex, flawed and multi-faceted female character (Juliet, people!), they gotta kill her? Sigh…

· Just a side-note, part 2: When they make a biopic about Christopher Walken, they better call Keamy.

· Not only do we finally get a Desmond episode, but we get other visits from great folks whose names rhyme with ‘Karaday’, ‘Karlie’, ‘Kenny’, uh, ‘Keloise’ and even ‘Kinkowski’.

· Okay, I’m becoming more convinced that Smokey is officially Esau, the Biblical brother of Jacob. I know that was the obvious talk last year, but people started raising the levels of Jacob/Smokey’s significance to God and The Devil. But Smokey’s story about his crazy, mean mom fits in with the story of Jacob and Esau. Combine that with the fact that we’re seeing more flaws in both Jacob and Smokey, that they aren’t necessarily as omnipotent, all-knowing or as powerful as we thought… I think Smokey is Esau. And I think the show is telling us that, along with Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Locke, etc. they also have inner demons they’re working through, and that they’re playing roles, too. Good and evil exist within us all – that’s where God and the Devil can reside, and the real power lies within each character on the show.

· Also on the JC tip, Aaron is a pretty big name in the Bible, right? What role is Aaron going to play in the Finale? And what about the other children, most notably Ji Yeon and Walt?

· I’ve mentioned this before, but keep it mind: each season has had some massive explosion of some kind (although I don’t believe Juliet ever really made Jughead go “BOOM”). We’ve had a plane, a hatch, an underwater base, a ship, Doc Arzt, etc. So what’s going to blow up this year? And (gulp) who?

· I’m going to go out on a limb and say next week’s episode will have us looking at every single Desmond appearance EVER in a new light. That includes his earliest scenes, like in Jack’s Season 2 flashbacks (remember when he and Desmond met jogging the steps in an empty stadium?).

· If one were to even TRY watching all Lost episodes in a linear timeline, ‘Ab Aeterno’ would be episode #2 of Lost. Episode #1 will be coming up in about 4-5 weeks. I have a headache.

· Is it just me, or is one the few sad effects of the Smokey/Jacob angle that Widmore just doesn’t seem to be that impressive? Such a great actor, such a great role, but now he seems so inconsequential to the bigger picture. One look at him and his doughy crew of unconvincing henchmen, and you know Smokey’s going to chew ‘em up.

· My odd theory of the week: So right now, it appears that we have 2 Suns and 2 Jins. What if one of the Suns dies (say, the ‘Sideways Timeline’ Sun), would it be possible that the ‘Sideways Timeline’ Jin, now kind of widowed, ends up hooking up with the original Sun? After, say, the original Jin sacrifices himself (yet again) to get Sun off the island? I’m not sure they’d try and pull something like this, but at this stage of the game, given what we’ve seen, aren’t most bets off? I’m not ruling this out 100% yet…

· Well, of all episodes so far, next week is the one I’m looking forward to the most! I’ve got a lot more ‘Intel’ on all this stuff, but I’m going to wait and see if it’s accurate.
 
Phew! That’s all I got. Thanks for reading and for watching, and if I ever figure out what the hell ‘Ab Aeterno’ is trying to tell me, I’ll let you know..